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Reasons you might die of consumption in a 19th-Century Novel, in Order from Least Likely to Most Likely*

January 9, 2009

You fell in love with someone who is richer than you are.

You got lost in the moors in the rain.

You work in a mill.

You are a prostitute.

You are an orphan.

Your sister works in a mill.

Your sister is a prostitute.

Your sister is a more orphany orphan than you are.

You took in an orphan who is also a prostitute.

Your sister took in an orphan who is also a prostitute and made her work in a mill instead.

You are a woman who fell in love with a man who is poorer than you are and you may or may not have slept with him, but then you had to become a prostitute to support yourself because he already died of consumption from working in a mill.

You are the previously unmentioned very wealthy older relative of an orphan who is in love with someone much richer than he or she is.

*This list was shamelessly stolen from one of McSweeney’s Lists written by Arielle Zibrak.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 10, 2009 9:44 am

    This is great! Thanks for giving me my laugh for the day.

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